I am truly impressed by my nua-ing capabilities and stamina. It has been 3 weeks of nua-ing and I'm still going strong and enjoying every part of it =x
Today started off quite well with a piece of good news from my mum this morning! Someone's finally decided to get married! Wa wait until we become giraffes liao. So happy for you la!! ^^
Anyway, I was suddenly *inspired* this afternoon. So armed with a pair of pliers, a brand new rubber band from my JB trip and the box of cute buttons I bought a gazillion years ago, I made this:
Took me only a minute or so but I'm quite pleased with the result. I love art and craft and I always cannot wait for the holidays to arrive so that I can embark on my exciting craft projects. But sometimes, after spending a bomb on all the materials, when my holiday finally arrives, I realize I have no time or no more inspiration -.- Somehow my inspirations only come during my exams -.- So mini projects like this are always good! =D
Anyway, I suddenly recalled that Greeny told me about the food blog she had done up!
Well, apparently somebody has been too busy to update but while we patiently wait for new entries, we can occupy ourselves with the existing posts! I can really tell that she put in a lot of effort in this food blog - from the customized blog template to each and every well-written and informative entry. The pictures are making me hungry, especially when I'm having so many cravings now (time of the month, tsk!). But yay, Beary's gonna bring me to satisfy some of my cravings tomorrow! Hehe.
One last thing before I end this post:
Please support King Kong Jane's debut album - Waiting for Friday! Support local music! =D
My sleeping cycle has been jeopardized ever since the day I took an afternoon nap. Now, I can't seem to fall asleep before midnight regardless of what time I woke up -.- maybe it's because I have too much on my mind. I keep thinking and thinking and thinking, and then get very stressed up. Sigh.
So today (yesterday, actually, looking at the time now) I was up early! Why? Because I was going to JB with Mr Bear! It was like a mini holiday. We didn't have the reserves for a real holiday so we made do with this. Haha, I love cheap thrills! And I'm really thankful for this chance to put those unhappy thoughts aside and enjoy the day.
To sum up the day, we got stuck at the traffic jam and customs ( as expected on a weekend), ate McDonald's for both breakfast and lunch (the price is almost the same as in SG just that it's in Ringgit, but this is not the reason why. Neither is it because we are addicted to Macs. It's just because we didn't know what to eat -.-), shopped (actually it was only me), caught a movie (so so so much cheaper than in sg! And Transformer was really cool!) and had a simple dinner at Woodlands. And oh, had a little squabble on the way home but we're good again. All in all, a really great day and I haven't enjoyed myself in a long while! Thanks to boyfriend for escorting me to and fro =p
Okay, just a short entry to remember this happy day with bear in my last proper holiday in a long while! Bedtime!
I need another story Something to get off my chest My life gets kinda boring Need something that I can confess
'Til all my sleeves are stained red From all the truth that I've said Come by it honestly I swear Thought you saw me wink, no I've been on the brink, so
Tell me what you want to hear Something that were like those years I'm sick of all the insincere So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time Don't need another perfect line Don't care if critics ever jump in line I'm gonna give all my secrets away
My God Amazing that we got this far It's like we're chasing all those stars Who's driving shiny big black cars
And everyday I see the news, all the problems that we could solve And when a situation rises, just write it into an album Seen it straight to go I don't really like my flow, no, so
Tell me what you want to hear Something that were like those years I'm sick of all the insincere So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time Don't need another perfect line Don't care if critics ever jump in line I'm gonna give all my secrets away
Oh, got no reason, got not shame Got no family I can blame Just don't let me disappear I'mma tell you everything
So tell me what you want to hear Something that were like those years I'm sick of all the insincere So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time Don't need another perfect line Don't care if critics ever jump in line I'm gonna give all my secrets away
So tell me what you want to hear Something that were like those years Sick of all the insincere So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time Don't need another perfect line Don't care if critics ever jump in line I'm gonna give all my secrets away
All my secrets away All my secrets away
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I'm here to clear some cobwebs! =x
I really can't recall when was the last time I've done a proper blog post. So much has happened over the past few months.
My 6-month long industrial attachment ended slightly more than 2 weeks ago. I met really amazing people at the plant and they are the reason why I managed to overcome my internal struggles. I really felt blessed to have ended up there. And it's such an awesome experience and opportunity for me to learn as I work. The things I learnt there are fresh knowledge which I have never ever encountered during my 3 years of university studies. They may be unrelated to what I studied, which was the reason why I was rather worried, but I have gained some new skills and it's actually quite an interesting field which I don't mind exploring in the future! =) We'll see how everything goes.
I had the opportunity to work near nature and civilization at the same time. I was stationed right beside Downtown East which is near to Pasir Ris Park. For one of my projects, I had to walk to the park everyday. Haha. I hope I got fitter instead of skinnier (side note: I'm so depressed that I can't find a pair of skinny jeans which actually look skinny on me -.-). By the way, the plant is right beside a longkang and there's this one or two residence herons that like to perch on the rubber weir. So cute! They also spotted otters peeking out of the canal a few weeks ago (who I didn't get to see boohoo). But at times there are also weird things that were found floating down the canal eg. carcasses of a gigantic monitor lizard and chicken/duck (we couldn't make it out) which gave off an unpleasant stench. What an experience!
Right now, I'm missing the nice people at the plant. Although it's just a small plant and I had less than 10 colleagues, the environment there is so homely. It's amazing how I can hit off with people who are a few decades older than me so well. Sometimes, I feel that they are so much younger at heart than me. They shared with me so much and helped me selflessly along the way. Even though I was just an insignificant intern, they seek my advice on some operational issues (which, to be honest, makes me quite stressed and freaked out, haha). It's really a two-way learning process. And they always drive me out for lunch and bring me to eat all the nice food. The assistant plant manager really touched me with his passion and dedication to the plant and organization. I just pray that things won't get too stressful over there and that there will be a new intern there soon to entertain them =p
I'm really glad and fortunate to have ended up at VSP and met all these angels =) And there, another chapter of my academic life has been concluded. In one's life, people come and people leave. I was really sad to leave (my tearful scenes and "last words" were captured on the CCTV and replayed by the AM -.-) and I will never forget the empty feeling in my heart when I signed out and walked up the slope to the exit on my last day. I really hope that we keep in touch!
So after my internship ended, I was furiously trying to catch up with family time, friends time and me time. Okay, actually on some days I just find myself lazing on the couch although I have a long to-do list to clear. I got to get started before time runs out!! This holiday is precious! There are still so many friends I have yet to meet =(
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Something major happened in my life end of last year. Something very bad and sad. Something which only friends who bothered knows about. Up till today, the images of the events before, during and directly after still haunts me. Up till today, I still can feel the wrench in my heart and choke back on my tears at the thought of these. They can never be erased. Never ever. I thought I was going to die. I didn't know how I survived juggling final exams and housework. I didn't know how to be happy on my 21st birthday, because I can only be happy if she is happy. Does she know that?
But the one who went through the most pain is perhaps not us. It's her. The one whom we have hurt. I begged and prayed for a second chance. I hope this really IS the second chance. I really need this chance to make things right again.
Who could I blame? No one except myself. For a good few months after the event, I couldn't stop blaming myself. I become very paranoid and I think I suffered from mild depression. Nothing could make me feel happy. I didn't feel like speaking to anyone. I didn't want to open up to anyone because I felt that no one would understand and they will start blaming me too. I cooped myself up at home almost all the time. I'm sorry to the people whom I have offended and whose SMSes I have ignored during that period of time. I didn't know how to reply and there were times when I just deleted unopened messages. I don't know why I do that. Maybe I thought ignorance would make me feel less guilty. I am such a bad friend, but I was too afraid to regain contact with them because I really didn't want to update them with my life. And I didn't need to know how carefree their lives are to make myself feel worse. They wouldn't understand. And recalling everything is just too painful and I wouldn't be able to take it. I really couldn't do it at all. I could only run away. I could only keep everything to myself and wet my pillow every night. At that time, my world only revolved around her.
But I'm thankful for the few friends who empathized with me and tried to counsel me. Thank you for being understanding, patient and sensitive towards me. Please give me more time. Although I'm still not ready to step out of the Cheryl I was a few months back, you guys have really helped me a great bunch.
And of course, not to forget my loved ones who have gone through this together with me. Thank you for teaching me how to be strong and setting a good example. Thank you to the boyfriend who stayed with me throughout and entertaining my 4am calls. Thank you for the sacrifices made for me.
I'm slowly recovering and I'll be strong. I will survive and work even harder to amend my mistakes in the past. Everyday I pray that everything will be fine, that my loved ones will be safe and sound and happy together. This, to me, is more important than anything else in the world.
We found a baby jellyfish at the seaside. It looks really cute when it swims and bumps into the surrounding walls. Hee. It's tentacles look threatening though. Hopefully it doesn't eat up the fishes in the tank!
Friday was also the day I lost something very precious and important - my ring. Was super devastated when I found out that I dropped it during lunch time =( I can only blame myself for being so careless. I feel so guilty!! But thankfully bear didn't blame me and we're gonna get a new pair of rings soon =) heehee.
There goes another weekend and in less than a day we welcome another hectic week of stress. Hopefully everything goes smoothly. This journey hasn't exactly been smooth-sailing and I am still trying to overcome my internal struggles. But I must stay strong! For I know that everything that happens, happens for a reason. I can do this!
Too many things have happened over the past few weeks. And it has left me distraught, confused and drained. This must have been the worst I have experienced so far. I wished so badly that it was all but a bad dream. But it wasn't.
What I need now is someone to catch me when I fall. Someone who will wait for me to catch up, or at least pull me along. Someone who will not leave me here alone. I'm so tired. But no one is willing to make a detour and walk with me, to guide me along.
But it would be selfish of me to ask for someone like this. And perhaps this person doesn't even exist.
